Chocoholic
by Kitematsu
Summary: The Sanzoikkou accidentally bump into two very perculiar young girls. There is something strange about the two but the Sanzoikkou simply can't get their head around it. What will happen next? OC but not mary sue


This story is written by Kitematsu and Alexandria Jaganshi. Purely original. (heehee. No chance to sue us, suckers XDD)

WARNING! The article below contains explicit material suitable only for those bored out of their skins.

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is not mine. BUT JIIPU IS MINE!! WAHAHHAHAA. –runs away from scary youkai hakkai and his claws- O.o

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Chapter 1

The Sanzo-ikkou had no idea where they were, everything was dark... but wherever they were... they had a feeling something bad was going to happen.

If they had known what was to come, perhaps they would have run, fast as their legs could carry them, who would have thought that all this started with just two people.

The two said people were ordinary teenage girls...or so they thought. Of course, the Sanzo-ikkou never knew this, or they found it out too late, for it all began one late afternoon…

The day had started out normally, the gang was cruising through a sea of sand, the monkey and kappa arguing in the back seat, the monk trying his best not to shoot their brains out, and the driver smiling serenely as he commented on his two companions.

"Hey, Hakkaaaiiii, when are we getting there?? I'm hungry!!!"

"Hmmm? Oh, I suppose if the landscape isn't too rough we'll be there in about a day or two..."

"I can't wait that long!! I'll have eaten my stomach out by then!!!"

There was a blessed silence for 10 peaceful minutes. Before…

"Hey, Hakkaaaiiii, when are we getting there?? I'm hungry!!!"

'BANG!'

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MONKEY!!"

"Maa maa, yare yare desu ne.." The green eyed smiling human-turned-youkai tried to placate his companions, in vain I might add.

"Hey, Hakkai, what's that??" The youngest member of the group, Goku, pointed out.

"What's what, you stupid monkey? There's nothing there!" The red headed taboo child pointed out as he whacked the said monkey upside the head, and true to his words, nothing could be sighted except for sand.

" But…but I saw something there!! I swear!! I saw it!"

"The heat must've fried what was left of your brain, baka saru."

"At least I had a brain! Dumb ass!"

"What was that, baka saru!!!!!"

"CAN YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"

BANG!

"Hey, look!! It's there again!" Goku exclaimed.

And indeed, the Sanzo-ikkou saw something in the distance.

"Hey, aren't they two ladies standing over there?" Gojyo enquired. "This might be my lucky day."

"Quit being a pervert you kappa!!!" The monkey of the group shouted at him.

Hakkai stopped the jeep when they reached where the two women were standing.

"Am I seeing what I thought I'm seeing" One of them said as he stared at the gang.

"Hmmm, a gang of hot guys?" The other one did not resist the urge to flirt with the Sanzo-ikkou. This comment made Gojyo sit up tall in the jeep with a look of interest.

"Not the red headed one though, I like the green eyed guy..." The other one replied, talking as if the Sanzo-ikkou wasn't even there.

"Yeah, the green one is definitely hot. The red headed one looks like a cockroach. Maybe if he cut them off…" Indeed, the Sanzo-ikkou felt rather invisible.

Gojyo visibly slumped in his seat, throwing a look at Hakkai every once and in a while and the said youkai blushed a deep shade of red.

"Um…Ladies, may I enquire what you are doing in the middle of a desert?" The blushing youkai said.

"What ARE we doing in the middle of the desert, Miharu??" One of them asked her friend.

"We are looking for the pearl, remember? That's the third time you've asked, Lexa" Miharu shot an annoyed look at her friend.

"Pearl ? What pearl?" The girl, now known as Lexa, said through a mouthful of chocolate that seemed to appear out of thin air.

"Sigh…the pearl that we agreed to find in exchange for a year's supply of chocolate." Miharu rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you can't remember that. I'll bet the only thing you remember is something about chocolate. "

"Huh? Did you say chocolate?" The other girl said as she lifted her head from the box of chocolate before diving back into it.

Miharu smacked her forehead.

"Anyway, is there any way we can help?" Hakkai disrupted their little conversation.

"Is there?" Lexa asked Miharu, successfully spraying chocolate everywhere.

"Umm...if you are willing to drop down on your knees and search..." Miharu sighed. "There's no way we can find it in here! I give up."

"We're willing to help, right Sanzo?" The green eyed youkai asked the monk sitting beside him.

"What ever you want. Just leave me outta this."

"What about you two?" Lexa asked the others sitting on the back seat, as Hakkai got off the jeep and began searching "Are you going to help?"

"Only if I get food!! I'm hungry!!" Goku exclaimed.

"You can have some of my chocolate if you want..." Lexa offered.

"Yay!" Goku jumps onto Lexa and shoves the chocolate into his mouth.

Goku then proceeds to help the search of the pearl, catching a bar of chocolate tossed by the chocolate crazed girl once in a while.

"Sigh...a monkey will always be a monkey." Gojyo sighed. "Well, I can't deny the pleasures in helping two beautiful ladies out." Gojyo jumps off the jeep and starts the search too.

"Lookie!!!! I think I found it!!!!" Goku exclaimed as he held up a shiny object clutched in his palms.

"OMIGOSH!! YOU FOUND IT!! THANKS A LOT!" Snatches pearl away.

Miharu and Lexa look at each other. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA." they break out in a fast sprint and started running away.

The sanzo-ikkou sweatdropped as they watched the two teenage girls run for no apparent reason.

The only thing that was left of the girls was a thin trail of dust sinking slowly back to the ground

"Errrrr..." Hakkai began uncertainly "Why are they running away when the pearl's right here? " He lifted something out of his pocket. "I found it quite a while ago but I didn't know whether to give it up right away…"

"I wonder if they even notice that what they have is not the pearl..." Gojyo mused.

"All the more reason to go after them" Goku replied as he too jumped into the jeep "besides, they still got chocolate" he continued as he drooled.

"Anyway, I am about 90 sure that they ran in the direction of the nearest town. Where else would they go?" Hakkai said as he started up the jeep.

"They won't even be halfway there..." Gojyo waved carelessly "It's been... what?... five minutes?"

"I guess we'd better hurry anyway." Jeep drove off into the seemingly endless sea of sand...

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Meanwhile……………

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"Hey, Miharu...Why are we running?" Lexa asked uncertainly at her friend.

"Hm? So they can't steal our chocolate of course! Oh, hey, I'll bet they are like fuming at us running off with the...WAAAA??" Miharu stopped to look at the… ahem... 'pearl' in her hands.

"WHAT??? WHAT IS THIS? It's not a pearl!!!!"

"Hmmmmm..." Her friend took a close look at the... object… grasped in her friend's hand. "Indeed it's not..." Lexa finally said, not looking in the least worried.

"Hey, you're supposed to be sad!! WHAT ABOUT OUR CHOCOLATE????"

"What about it?" Lexa replied casually, not really getting the point.

"Don't you want the chocolate?? Don't you want the -pause- SUGAR??? That's basically the whole point of getting the pearl. The other one hundred thousand yen is just a minuscule bonus!!"

Lexa blinked once... twice... "Chocolate? We could get more chocolate?" She said slowly, her eyebrows scrunched together thoughtfully "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go get that pearl!!!" She finally exclaimed, walking off to where she thought the Sanzo-ikkou were.

Miharu, irritated, followed. "That was what I was trying to say all along, block head. Maybe you'd be smarter if you ate something besides chocolate..." The duo walked for quite a while. "Hey, are you sure that this is the right way? I don't remember passing by that stone wall before..."

"Hmmmm? I don't know..." Lexa replied carelessly as she started skipping.

"...hey, haven't we passed by this stone before?? -sigh- never mind..." They walked for hours and hours.

Suddenly, Miharu stopped. The jeep with the four men they saw earlier was right in front of them.

"YOU IDIOT!" She smacked Lexa on the head. "WE HAVE BEEN WALKING IN CIRCLES! ARGHH" Miharu almost pulled out her hair in frustration.

"HEY!!! You shouldn't pull your hair like that!!! You're gonna get bald..." Lexa panicked slightly, not even taking in what Miharu had said.

"GRRRRR. YOU ARE HOPELESS." Miharu stormed up to the four men shouting all the way. The driver finally stopped the car a while later after hearing her screams.

At that, Lexa burst into a fit of laughter. "Ah, I'm really sorry... " Lexa said politely to the green-eyed driver after she managed to get her outburst under control "But I believe you have something of ours..." she continued, her behavior changing dramatically.

Miharu looked coyly at the guys. "I'm sure you won't deny that you could get us a lift to the nearest town in exchange for a room at our inn? hmm… and perhaps return what belongs to us..."

"Yes, we've been walking for hours..." Lexa continued, immediately catching up on her friend "We would really appreciate your... service." she winked at the driver who began to blush deep red for the second time that day.

"I'm sure you two can squeeze into the back...as long as you don't mind..." Hakkai smiled.

"Woah, I don't" Gojyo hinted, pulling Miharu closer to him.

"Hey, HANDS OFF!!" Miharu smacked Gojyo away, blushing slightly

"Thanks alot!!!" The crazier one exclaimed, jumping into the back seat " I'm sitting next to Goku!!!!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Goku suddenly said "How do you know my name!!! We didn't give it to you..."

"EVERYONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE!!" Miharu was getting more frustrated by the second.

"YEAH!!! And you're Hakkai, Sanzo, and Gojyo!!!!" She pointed to the rest of the three.

"Hey...so, you know who I am...what I like...are you some sorta stalkers?" Goku wondered out loud.

Sanzo pointed his gun at the two girls "One of Kougaiji's men?" He asked suspiciously.

"Part of my fan-club?" Gojyo smirked

"Now, now... we shouldn't jump to conclusions..." Hakkai said to his companions, his usual smile on his face.

"Well...um...anyway, turn left here...yea. The town is right ahead." Miharu swiftly changed the topic

"You haven't answered the question." Sanzo growled as he tightened his grip on his gun "now talk"

"Ehhh. We've, um, read about you, that's all."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes suspiciously at them, obviously not believing the lame excuse.

They arrived at an inn nearby. "Welcome to our inn, if you come this way I'll be able to get you rooms..." Miharu ushered them in, ignoring Sanzo's gaze

"Yeah... and... uhh... we'll give you discounts as our thanks..." Lexa said, as she too pushed the Sanzo-ikkou in, but she was distracted when Jeep turned into a dragon.

"WAAAAA!!! JII PU!!! YOU'RE SO KAWAIII"

"OMIGOSH!! HE'S EVEN CUTER THAN I THOUGH!" Miharu rushes up to cuddle Jiipu.

"Hey! _I_ wanna cuddle him!!!!" Lexa shouted as she beat Miharu to the white dragon.

Miharu grabbed Lexa and shoved her away, "_I_ saw him first!"

"No you didn't!! _I did_!!!" Lexa exclaimed, she then tripped Miharu and purposely stepped on her when she dashed to the confused dragon.

"It was me. HE'S MINE!!" Miharu got up, ran forward and jumped on Lexa, pinning her to the ground before smacking her head and running towards Jiipu.

"MINE!!!!!!" Lexa grabbed her on her ankle, making her fall down on her face. The two then wrestled on the ground, not noticing Jiipu flying away from them and onto Hakkai's shoulder.

"Erm...ladies...do you mind finding us rooms now? if you are… err...not too busy"

The four travelers sweat dropped as the two girls proceeded to ignore them.

"I guess we will find our own way..." The four travelers went into the inn.

The four went to the receptionist to ask for a room. "Excuse me..." Hakkai started, but before he could finish the door to the inn exploded.

"What the..." There stood two grimy, covered-in-mud, sweaty, fuming girls

"JIIPU!!!!!" Lexa shouted as she launched herself at Hakkai who Jiipu was currently sitting on.

Jiipu promptly flew away, causing Lexa to fall on the unsuspecting Hakkai, causing both to tumble to the floor.

Lexa blinked and blushed at the close contact to the green-eyed youkai. "Errr... sorry..." she squeaked in a small voice.

Meanwhile, Miharu was trying to chase Jiipu, unsuccessfully of course. "JIIPU!! WAAA come back!!"

While Lexa was struggling to get to her feet and Miharu was trying to catch Jiipu, the monkey and the kappa burst into a fit of laughter. Sanzo glared at the two troublemakers.

Suddenly, another explosion destroyed the side wall, as the clouds of dust cleared; the Kougaiji-tachi could be seen entering from the hole on the wall.

"HEY! That's gonna cost a bomb to repair!!" Miharu spat angrily. Sparks were flying from her eyes. "THAT WAS A VERY EXPENSIVE ENTRANCE AND I HOPE YOU BROUGHT MONEY!! Its one thing for me to barge in, it's another for you to blast open half the bloody inn! It's gonna cost you loads, laddy!"

"Well... I think that cleared up the option of them being Kougaiji's men..." Hakkai said pleasantly, always the optimist.

Kougaiji looked confusedly around.

"You guys had better take it outside or else!!" Miharu raged. "I'm going to skin anyone else who damages my property!!! Grrrrrrrr."

"You can't hurt us!!!!" Lirin shot back like the little kid she is "Right Onii-chan?"

"Hand over the maten sutra or die."

Lexa quirked an eyebrow "I would think that you being the Kougaiji-tachi would mean you have better lines... I guess I was wrong..." She sighed in disappointment.

Meanwhile...Miharu had grabbed a calculator and was busy punching in figures. "DAMN YOU! that's gonna cost me a year without chocolate!! RAWRRR"

"WHAT!!!!" Lexa shouted. "You have got to be kidding me!!!! No Chocolate???!!!!" Lexa growled menacingly at the four demons responsible for the damage.

"DAMN! I REALLY HATE THEM!! ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH BOMBS!! Wadsername?? oh, yeah. Yaone. BITCH!!! DEPRIVING ME OF -drools- CHOCOLATE AND...SUGAR!!!" Miharu screamed.

"HEY!!! DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!!!!" Kougaiji defended his subordinate.

"I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!! GRRRR… go forth, my little servant, and get her!!"

A poodle ran out from behind the inn.

"GO GET HER HELLHOUND!!!!!" Lexa cheered the poodle as it chased a screaming Yaone around.

"The rest of you! Meet my little palace of doom! You will succumb immediately! WAHAHAHA." Miharu could be heard chanting something.

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Suddenly, their surroundings turned into darkness and they could barely see anything except each other...

Goku, being the usual curious monkey, reached down and examined the ground. Just to feel that went squish under his touch.

"Ewwww..." He exclaimed as he examined his hands, to find it sticky with some sort of dark substance.

"Hmmm...Hey, Sanzo, what is this? Can i eat it?" Goku innocently asked.

"Do what ever you want, baka."

"Ok."

"Geez. The monkey is dumber than I thought" Gojyo sighed

The monkey tasted the dark substance to find it oddly familiar. "it's... chocolate!!!!"

The chocolate nightmare is to be continued…

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A/N: Heehee that was crazy 0.o sorry if anyone was out of character or anything. Alexandria and I (Kitematsu) did this story during an msn conversation, with no plot in mind. Heheehe. Purely impromptu O.O Please review!! We appreciate your thoughts and views. Hope you enjoyed it


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